i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
