that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize