He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
