Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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