Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
