you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
