her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
