As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize