I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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