tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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