So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
