Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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