Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
