Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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