Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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