I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
