Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need a beard to bite.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
