I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
