Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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