i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i dont even know how to be here
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
