let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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