I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
