Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
