the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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