You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
