I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
