this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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