Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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