PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
