You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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