One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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