Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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