i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
