Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
