cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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