I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
