All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
