You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dignity is for republicans.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
soo... how was my night?
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