Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Randomize
