your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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