We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So much rum. So many feels.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
