Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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