It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
