take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She bit a glass in half.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize