I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
