hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
