i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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