it hurts more in the daytime
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
