i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
