He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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