He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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