rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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