I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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