An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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