do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
