I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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