May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
