sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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