You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
