normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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