I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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