Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
