There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Text me some of your sweat
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
