I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
