I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So squirting runs in the family.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize