i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize