TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
